The Dreaded 2 Week Wait...

When we last left off, I was just starting my Follistim injections.  I was at the clinic for bloodwork and scans every other day (which was painful not only for my time but also for my gas tank and my veins –my arms are still sore). I started at 50 units, then it was 100, and then 150…by my 9^th injection day (a Friday), we finally had measurable follicles on the screen!  I was so relieved in that moment! After 2 previous visits of seeing nothing, I had begun to panic that the meds wouldn’t work. So they kept me at 150 through the weekend and at my Monday scan I had 5 measurable follicles! 2 of them were mature – a 17 and a 19 (I believe 16 to 21 is the goal). Plus, as soon as the doc started the scan, he said that my uterine lining looked the best it ever has (previously it was thin, making implantation more difficult)…I was totally overwhelmed with good news J


**Here is a pic of all my injection equipment:

 

They informed that I would do my HCG trigger shot right away and come in for an IUI the next morning. This kind of surprised me because the shot is supposed to make me ovulate 24-48 hours later, making a next day IUI a bit early. But I think they wanted me to do the shot ASAP so that none of the other 3 follicles got closer to maturity (risk of too many babies!).  Then there was another problem...

The nurse came in and said the lab was slammed for the morning of my IUI because the doc was in surgery in the afternoon and had to take all his patients in the morning…could we collect the sperm sample at home??!! I started to freak out and explained to her that it takes us AT LEAST an hour and 15 minutes to get to Danville. She said it would be okay as long as it was no longer than an hour and a half…I was like, geez – I have to risk my whole cycle and 11 days of injections on a 15 minute window! I could just see the spontaneous traffic on the bridge in Northumberland ruining everything.  Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. In the end, Jared and I decided that the risk was too much so we opted to drive back out to Danville that night and stay in a hotel. It made for a very strange, outside our routine 24 hours but I still think it was the best option.

When the doc and nurse came in for my IUI, they said that the lab paperwork had noted the sperm sample as “Excellent!”  This combined with my super uterine lining had us high with hope! The IUI was more painful that my previous 2 (which stinks because I will now have anxiety if I ever have to do it again)…the doc had a resident with him and he let her do it and I think she bumped my uterus making it contract. I am pretty sure he said “sorry” 100 times as I was moaning in pain, haha.

 

**I had Jared snap this pic of me after the IUI (they let you lay there for 10-15 mins with your hips elevated - it's actually very relaxing...a chance to take a breath and feel relieved.) -- I figured if we did make a baby this cycle, it would be a picture we'd be happy to have:

 

But all is a done deal now and we are officially in what I believe to be one of the WORST parts of these treatments – THE DREADED 2 WEEK WAIT. That’s how long it will take for me to (a) get pregnant; and (b) have it show up as a positive on a pregnancy test.  It’s 2 weeks of: Googling about success rates, questioning every abdominal twinge, worrying about how much I should exercise or if it can hurt my chances, wondering what could be going on in my body (or not going on). Also, I am choosing to have no alcohol this round. I have not drank before and then allowed myself to have a few in previous cycles. But I've decided to err on the side of caution this time because everything has gone so well.

I find myself walking that fine line between not sabotaging myself with negative thoughts and not getting my hopes up. I think that might be the worst part of the 2ww – the hope. I want to feel hopeful – it’s unlike other moments in time because I could actually be pregnant (or be getting pregnant ) – but I am also terrified of allowing that hope to creep in…because once it creeps in, it makes a sad outcome so much worse.